The Lord Choosing Psychiatry For Me
One of the questions I frequently encounter nowadays is why I chose Psychiatry. Truly ‘it was not I who chose Psychiatry, but the Lord chose it for me and appointed me in Psychiatry that I should go and bear fruit....’ (This is how the Lord paraphrased John 15: 16 for me on May 23rd , 2009, Saturday morning, the very next day of my joining the Department of Psychiatry in CMC, Vellore, India).
Now let me tell you how the Lord, in His mercy, led me to the Dept. of Psychiatry in CMC, Vellore. Honestly speaking, I had absolutely zero interest in specializing in Psychiatry till about 1: 15 am early morning on 20th April 2009, when the Lord gave me a vision. That night I was taking a casualty duty in one Aravind Hospital, Chavara, nearby my native place. I had reached the hospital after 8pm April 19th, and there was heavy casualty that night, especially because it was a Sunday. I could have the food only about 12: 30 am. And there were patients till about 1: 15 am.
By about 1: 15 am, I came to the duty room very much tired physically, but I was fresh in the spirit. Though I thought of going to the bed soon (because one cannot predict when the next patient would come), I was prompted by the Lord Jesus to spend a little more time with Him, conversing with Him and worshipping Him.
I was sitting in the chair, just worshipping the Lord and delighting in His presence with my eyes closed. It was then that the Lord gave me a vision. (I have had only one vision before that, which was fulfilled soon after the Lord showed it to me. I believe that the Lord gave me the first vision some months ago in order to assure me of the reliability of such a vision).
What the Lord showed me in the vision on April 20th, was a multitude of poor, helpless, needy people, sitting in darkness and pathetically crying out for help..... I saw two faces more or less clearly: one that of a 60 – 70 year old man and another that of a 7 – 8 year old little girl. The Lord filled me with compassion for all of them, and I was convinced deeply in my heart that the Lord wanted to touch them through me. Suddenly the thought of specializing in Psychiatry became very much lively in my heart (because 12 hours ago, that is around 1: 15 pm of April 19th afternoon, a very godly man named Dr. Kuruvilla Varkey, Professor and Head of the Dept. of Medicine of Christian Fellowship Hospital, Oddanchathram, Tamil Nadu, had suggested to me about the same. But I had no interest in it when he told me about this option. And I was saying in my heart: “If the Lord has need of people in Psychiatry, He Himself will find people who are interested in the subject. How can I go when I have no interest at all in the subject?”)
But when the Lord gave me this vision, my whole thought process changed. I told the Lord: “If specializing in Psychiatry is Your will for me, Lord, just give me a clear conviction. I’m ready to venture out into whatsoever which I’m sure, is your will. But please clarify to me whatever is Your will”.
I suddenly felt an inner urge to open the Bible. The very page I opened began with Isaiah 50: 2, where my eyes were struck: “Why was there no man when I came? When I called, why was there none to answer?....”. I understood that the Lord was calling me to something.
Verse 4 reads like this: “The Lord GOD has given Me the tongue of disciples, That I may know how to sustain the weary one with a word. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear to listen as a disciple.” As soon as I read “the tongue of disciples”, I was literally shocked, because it was just in the preceding afternoon that Dr. Kuruvilla Varkey told me about the importance of counselling in Psychiatry. When I further read about ‘sustaining the weary one with a word’, I was absolutely convinced that the Lord was speaking to me about specializing in Psychiatry.
The further interesting thing is that the Lord literally woke me up morning by morning those few days as it was said in that verse. Far earlier than the alarm clock rang, the Lord amazingly woke me up from sleep in the early mornings of three preceding days before and one succeeding day after this vision, that is 17th, 18th, 19th and 20th of April. In some days, the Lord woke me up around 3 O’ clock and 5 O’ clock in the mornings although I had gone to bed very late in the preceding nights. I was so fresh in my mind when I was woken up by the Lord, that even though I tried to sleep after waking up, I was not able to do so. I could spend quality time with the Lord those mornings.
The Lord spoke to me also from the succeeding verses in Isaiah 50 and 51, many of which the Lord literally fulfilled in the succeeding days, and the rest He’ll be fulfilling in the coming days! I was filled with a river of peace and the Lord confirmed His will for me! The Lord further confirmed it through many godly people in the further days. Dr. Kuruvilla Varkey himself suggested me to apply to CMC, Vellore. My admission to the department here was also supernatural, because it was accepted soon beyond everyone’s expectations.
And the Lord is further confirming His will for me here by upholding me as His witness each and every day. All glory be to Him who has promised us: “I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you” (Psalm 32: 8) when we find our hiding place in Jesus Himself alone (verse 7)……